i am not a lawyer

I am fascinated by how much we identify ourselves with our careers.  I think this is particularly true for the traditional "professions" - like law, medicine, etc.  But I never imagined when I graduated from law shool that I would put so much stock in that label - "lawyer." 

Of course, when I started law school I didn't plan to go work at a big firm for a big salary.  I was going to save the world.  As I told my dad, "I'm going to represent poor people."  Well, unless you can make the argument that some former big bank/big pharma/big mortgage company executives are now poor, that didn't really work out.  So, life isn't always what you planned (that appears to already be a theme on this blog).

I figured out pretty early that I wanted out of big law, but it's not an easy transition to make.  Despite what they tell you when you go to law school about how you "can do anything with a law degree," not everyone recognizes your transferable skills when you don't have actual experience in any other industry.   Eventually, however, I got lucky.  Seriuosly.  There are some things I have worked very hard for in my life, but I fell into my current job.  Literally.  And I love it.  I didn't even know that was possible.  I really believed that if you made a certain amount of money, you had to be miserable - that was just the tradeoff.  I listened to people talk about loving what they do and I didn't believe them.  I thought they were just trying to make themselves feel better.  But now I get it.

When I started this job, I really struggled with not being a "lawyer."  I even tried to make the argument to my then boss that I should somehow be in the legal deparment - which we don't have, by the way - just a general counsel - and that's not me.  Being stripped of that label was humbling.  That was weird because I never knew I paid so much attention to a label.  I have slowly overcome that sentiment and have become much more comfortable with the fact that I have chosen to do something else - and that's OK.  But every once in a while, it creeps back up - for instance, I found myself in a meeting with outside counsel a few weeks ago trying every way possible to work into the conversation that I was a lawyer - so they would know that I "fit" with them, or that I was as smart as them, or something.  Frankly, I don't even know what it was.

That meeting aside, I feel like I have really come a long way in the past  month or so in this arena and I have shed myself of that need for a label that will impress others.  So, I'm making a declaration now - I am not a lawyer.  And I don't know if I ever will be again.