the journey

First, you might notice that I dropped the "i am _____" for the title this time. I always knew I could only keep that up for so long. I'm just not that creative. Now on to the topic . . ...

Our family is on a new journey. As you saw in my last post, we are moving to Louisville and becoming renters for the first time in over 7 years. My husband is embarking on a new career path. He is going to pursue a master's degree in marriage and family therapy - hopefully at Louisville Seminary. I say "hopefully" because this is the first element of the "leap of faith" part of this journey. And let me tell you, there are a lot of elements. He hasn't been accepted to the program yet, and can't be until next spring - when he would then start full-time in the fall of 2012. Because we were so moved and encouraged by the people we met on our campus visit and because they were so positive about his potential for joining the program, we decided to act now - allowing him to start taking classes as a non-degree seeking student (which will hopefully increase his possibility of admission) and allowing our oldest son to start first grade in Louisville, rather than moving between first and second. This is the honest rationale for our timing, but I have to tell you, there was no hesitation on my part.

We have lived in Lexington for almost 7 years and I love it, but there are parts of me that can't get out of here fast enough. That really has very little to do with the town and more to do with our history here. It has been a long and rocky 7 years and there are memories and emotions here that I want to leave behind. And I receive confirmation of it over and over again as people act surprised that my husband is going to seminary. This is the complete opposite reaction of all the people he grew up with and all of our friends in California. No one who really knows him blinks an eye when he tells them his plan. But here, people act shocked. Some even make it into a joke. This is when I respond, "you know, I tell people all the time that even though he knows every one in this town, very few people in Lexington have ever actually met the man I married." The great thing is, they are starting to meet him now and I have him back. The man I married is loving, compassionate, committed to his family and God and has a call on his life to serve people. I know that people here have seen some of those elements, but they haven't seen them all together on a consistent basis. We all go through seasons in our life when we struggle with who we are. Carl has been through his and I have certainly been through mine, but for the first time in a very, very long time - frankly, maybe even ever, I feel like we are on the same page, moving in the same direction.

What's most remarkable about this journey is that there are so many unknowns, but we both have so much peace. Besides the uncertainty of school, we have cut an income and are stretching our budget beyond what we knew we could do, we are having faith that Jordan will get into a decent school, we are moving the day before we leave for a vacation, we can't sell our house - so we are renting it out, we are renting a house and depending on the rental income from our Lexington house to pay our mortgage, and I am keeping my same job but working from an office that will make me less accessible to the executive management whom I work with on a daily basis. There have been days when we didn't know how we were going to write the check for the next cost associated with this process and days when we weren't sure if the next piece of the puzzle would fall into place, but at every turn, the money, or the decision, or the call from the renters has come at exactly the right time. And at every moment when I should have had a complete breakdown, I have felt perfectly content.

I love this journey and I love not knowing what will happen next. Whatever it is, I am more confident than ever that it will be the right thing at the right time.